When things aren't going your way, where can you turn?

Updated: Aug 5

Things don't always go our way and this can be a huge bummer. It's like nothing we do is changing the situation and in some ways feels like our actions are making it worse.



As women, we have so much pressure on us. We are expected to run our households, care for our families, have successful careers and stay fit, look good and never age. Even for those of us women who don't have children, there are still immense amounts of pressure that we are faced with everyday.


This is what brought me to write this blog post and create a podcast episode on the topic of releasing control and surrendering to the guidance of the Universe. If you read this post and check out the podcast, you will learn about:

  • How control is an illusion and toxic to our health and well-being

  • Where these pressures are coming from and how to navigate them

  • How to trust what comes up with steps to do so

  • How to surrender to what is and trust that what is happening is for you and not to you

  • How the Universe is guiding and supporting you

I also touch on the topic of conception and the challenges that can come with it. I give you my spiritual perspective on it and share about the topic of spirit babies and their role in a woman's life before conception.


We live in a culture that makes us believe that everything is within our control. If you buy the right things, follow the guidelines, and spend x number of hours on going after what you want, then what you desire will happen. We are presented with a very masculine action-oriented approach to bringing forth what we desire. There isn't much talk about divine timing, going with the flow, allowing things to happen at their own speed and pace. 


In the podcast episode, I talk about conception and the illusion of control that we have around it. Women are spending large sums of money on clinics, tests and injections to try and make it happen. It is a time consuming and taxing experience on anyone who goes through it. It stems from the idea of "if we try everything we possibly can then it has to happen" and when it doesn't, it is extremely disappointing and frustrating. Understandably so! 

But then there are those women who go through all the steps, the tests and they're told they're infertile. So they stop trying, surrender to just living their lives and they get pregnant. 

When we let go of having to control things, life gets a lot simpler and feels more in flow. We release the pressure we put on ourselves and just exist in whatever is coming up. I'm not saying to stop going to the fertility clinic, but I am inviting you to reflect on why this situation might be coming up for you in this way.


If you can trust that when things don't go your way that it's for your highest and best then you allow yourself to be in the experience of whatever is going on and learn from it. The Universe (God/Source/etc. whatever it is to you) sees the bigger picture. Life is happening for you and not to you. You did not come into this lifetime to have an unfulfilling experience. You are on a path that will bring you lessons to make things better FOR you and those around you. When we are stressed and wanting to control things, it becomes quite toxic to our health and our well-being. 

The Universe is constantly sharing with you and guiding you in the direction that will best serve you. It does this through signs, people, experiences. When you become aware of all of this, you will gain clarity as to why these experiences are happening and how to best navigate them.


The Universe shares with you in the following ways:


1. Through consistent signs, like numbers (especially multiples), animals, and messages.


Are you noticing the same animal or certain number coming up for you a lot? Perhaps it's seeing 22 on the clock, on price tags, and in addresses? Then the Universe is trying to tell you something. This number may already signify something to you personally, or you can look it up on Google. This can also happen with songs or messages you hear more than once. If an animal keeps showing up in your life in different ways, it likely has something to tell you. When you start paying attention to the signs, you'll be surprised at what guidance they offer.

2. The people who show up in your life.


Most people who show up in your life, especially those who have a significant effect on you are here to teach you something. They are messengers. It doesn't matter if it's the guy at the lights who gives you the middle finger for tailgating him or the neighbour who is always asking to borrow your lawnmower, they are here for a reason. Often they are reflecting either something you may still need to heal, acknowledge, recognize, etc. The more significant people like your exes, teachers, parents, etc. are 100% your teachers in some form. 

When engaging with these people, I invite you to reflect on the impact they've had on your life. What have they shown you about yourself? What have they taught you about life in general? What would you have done differently in your relationship?

Don't write people off as being a nuisance, hurtful, frustrating or whatever it was for you. They came in to show you something about yourself. To allow you to grow in some form. Ask yourself what that could be.

3. Through your intuition and body


This is the most important guide that the Universe has. It is you. You already carry the wisdom you need to navigate your life in a way that is best for you. You have the inner knowing within you that is speaking to you at all times. 


In the podcast episode, I walk you through the ways your body speaks to you. What it can feel like to receive a "Yes! Go for it!" or a "Don't move forward!" Ultimately you know your body best and can best interpret what it's trying to tell you. Creating time and space to be with your body and feeling into its wisdom is a game-changer in navigating the unknown.

As you take notice of the signs and practice listening, you will build more and more trust in the Universe in yourself. We are not taught to navigate our lives this way. We are taught to look to the products, services and authorities to guide us along our way. When we surrender to letting go of needing to control the outcome, we can then check in with ourselves, look for the signs and gain insights as to what would be best for us.


Go deeper into control, trust and surrender by listening to this podcast or watching it on YouTube.

Access my YouTube channel to watch a video of this podcast and me sharing about these topics.

I can't think of a better representation of beauty, than someone who is unafraid to be herself. 

Emma Stone