Sabotaging New Love

Updated: Aug 12, 2020

We all have them! As single women in the dating world and those of you who are in new relationships too, we are sabotaging our connections and relationships while we are in them.

In Chapter 9 of Ken Page's Deeper Dating book, he shares about the flight patterns that come up due to our fear of intimacy and ways in which to work with these. In the podcast episode, Katrina Marie and I go through the lessons shared and how these apply to our own lives.

This phase or behaviours we exhibit to keep us protected from the vulnerability of falling in love, Ken calls this the "wave of distancing". He defines it as coming up when "The Wave occurs when we push a caring and available person away by inwardly diminishing his or her worth."* 

How do you know you're in the wave of distancing? Ken shares these signs:

  • You can't find the sense of affection and desire you once had. 

  • You keep getting irritated at him or bored by him.

  • Her flaws make you quickly lose respect for her, even if you don't show it.

  • You start yearning for the excitement of the hunt.

  • You feel like a fraud, pretending you're still interested when inside you just don't feel it anymore.*